I was cooking an egg this morning and it turned out it was a baby chicken and it exploded out of the shell! So anyway, the chick ate Robbie. We’ll miss him terribly. Always, Robbie’s mom
Robbie wanted to do his homework, but, alas, God came down on him and told him to watch TV. I figured, you can’t argue with that, right? So, Robbie’s been excused by God. Always, Robbie’s mom
Robbie’s been pretty annoying lately, so I’m not excusing him for having pneumonia. Always, Robbie’s mom
Allow me to explain—yesterday, Robbie had a dream. Robbie had a dream that one day we could all be equal, that students could assign teachers homework and that everything could be copasetic. Robbie was busy starting a revolution against teachers, and gathering the media. Please excuse him. I hope you fail. Always, Robbie’s mom
Robbie was playing educational video games all night and is exhausted. What a little scholar! Please excuse him for not coming to school for the next month. Always, Robbie’s mom
On his way to school, Robbie was saving a kitten from a tree when it bit him and then he turned into Kitten Man and tried to save the world and stuff but then his evil nemesis called Mr. Dog or something came out of nowhere and defeated him. The world is no longer safe. Always, Kitten Man’s mom
Robbie is getting revenge on me for being terrible and not letting him go to Angela’s party, even though he cleaned his room. He has every right to be angry, and to not show up to school. I’m a stupid freaking lunatic. Always, Robbie’s mom
As it turns out, we mistook Robbie for the wrong baby in the hospital. He goes to school in Utah now, with his parents who are in a cult-thing. We thought we would miss him, but we like their son MoonRock better anyways! It’s a win win! Always, MoonRock’s mom
Robbie decided to become a hobo, then changed his mind. Please excuse him for not doing his homework. Always, Robbie’s mom