Pros:

• Stays up late just like you
• Likes the same things as you
• Caring
• Good listener
• Never more talented than you
• Always picks your side
• Always wants you on imaginary team
• Judgmental looks are invisible
• You never have to sit alone at the movies

Cons:

• Keeps you up late
• Friends sit on him sometimes “by accident”
• Friends are clearly jealous
• Easily offended
• Lacks dimension
• Doesn’t tie his shoes according to the Shulchan Aruch
• Insists the Twilight series has value as literature
• Inability to save you a seat
• You need to explain to other people why you are not actually sitting alone at the movies
• Other people’s judgmental looks are not invisible
• Prefers the term “reality-challenged”