Rewind back a second and I’m leaving
Mom, papers, pictures, all I’d recorded
For as long as I can play. Rewind back
To when I left what I knew to learn
Because I knew it was about time

Seems before I’ve gotten my suitcase to close
I’ve tripped in transition, desperate to tip
back my head and drift asleep. I keep leaving
Class, can’t space out my schedule
Without spacing out. I may never learn

Soon I see that there’s a world to learn
To keep my eyes open for. Soon I lose track
Of time, and not just because a new friend
Bumped into my clock during one
of our way-too-late-night heart-to-hearts

During break, I fly back
And quickly learn
This may be the first time
I’ve been so close
To the group I’d soon be leaving

The second I get back I’m desperate for more
To reach, to learn all the books at the back
Of the beit midrash, the ones I’d been
Planning to leave and learn before
Time slipped away

I slipped into denial, told myself it was never time
To fast forward. But I had to leave
But it hasn’t left me yet
No self-definition found, but I keep rewinding
And damn, I’ve come close
Still hoping to learn how to pause…

Stay tuned.