I’m supposed to leave here tomorrow night but I can’t go, I think as I look out on the warm, gold glow from the new old streets. I may not be able to leave. I have a ticket, though. For a flight that is supposed to take off, but it might not. There’s snow coming in and the country is reacting like it’s under attack again. Come to think of it, this seems to be worse. I may not be able to leave.

“If there’s a place in this world that can make you cry, isn’t that where you ought to be?” Daniel Gordis asked. If a place can make you cry, you may not be able to leave. The only way is to freeze your heart, freeze it colder than the snow about to coat the streets, colder than the floor on your toes as you walk out to get one last look at the nof at night. If a place can make you cry, you need to freeze your heart. Freeze the tear as you zip up your bag and tell yourself you’ll be able to take off. And as you board that plane and think of the warm, gold glow, your tear will melt and swell in your eye.

I may not be able to leave… but if I do, I hope to God I’ll be able to come back.