I just got to Tree Lighting and Lordy
How is the line this long at 5:40?
Yet instead of submitting to impatience and strife
I talk to first years about “A Year in the Life.”

6:10, I’m waiting, more tempted to cheat
And cut the line, joining randos I’ll meet.
I won’t. But will I get a shirt? Who knows
If I’ll regain feeling in all of my toes?

It’s 6:30 and in the hella cold
The first years around me make me feel old
I skip ahead upon the text of my friend
Who is further than I from the line’s end

Now they’re out of shirts, but fear not!
They’ve still got mugs and hot–
Kidding, no chocolate, but if I wait there’s a chance
There’ll be something left by the time I advance.

6:50! Okay! They check my ID!!
“I *never* get swag,” I say triumphantly.
I walk up to the table and right then they shout,
“If you’re waiting for shirts or mugs, we’re out!”