Here I am, taking a day off
Out of office, so to speak, though we’re all out of office
Out of other things too
Out of routine, out of our minds
And mindfulness seems the only route to stabilize, if just for 10 minutes.
My phone has been the source of stress and updates and checking in
Of memes, of virtual love, of breathing,
If just for 10 minutes.
The meditation voiceover tells me to drink in my breath on the brink of international collapse it tells me to drink in my breath and
Breathe out, like glitter in a snow globe.
I love watching glitter in a snow globe.
Breathing out, watching it glide,
This country shuts down when it snows and not when it wars
and also
And also
And also
The world shuts down and none of us goes anywhere,
Careful and
Fragile.
Glued to the news.
I breathe out and watch the glitter, slow, imagining the astronaut snow globe on a desk at work, remembering the glitter around my eyes on Purim, when it all seemed unstable and it was.
And it is.
Though unstable in a different way,
Stable in our instability, waking up to our alarms every day,
Putting on pants one leg at a time, even if they’re pajamas.

I dressed up as Miss Universe
For Purim, I wore stars and glitter and said
I love the universe because I can’t hold it, or fathom,
Because it makes me feel lost in all its enormity and found in the way it holds me,
Structure,
God,
Saying, you can’t hold Me, but look around-
I’m holding you.
You will shake the globe.
The glitter will fall,
We will wake, we must,
We will love, we will cry.

Our eyes will sparkle
And we will shake off the dust again.