no fear

Viha’ikar lo lefached klal
Never ever be afraid
Quell it
Block out what is said
What is ranted, what is blurted
Displayed
On the scrolling, “breaking” news.

Viha’ikar lo lifached
Why worry?
Calm down. Don’t you know
That the past is past and the future is passed?
RELAX!

Vihai’kar lo
Don’t push it.
Shove it down and remember it’ll be okay instead
Though maybe now it’s not okay
You may as well look straight ahead

Vi’haikar
It’s narrow, very narrow,
Hugely narrow, tzar me’od.

And though straight ahead bodes a clown in a crown,
You will cross. Trust me,
Just keep your eyes open and
Don’t
Look down. Just don’t look down.

of thought

I’m really sorry but

I’m not completely with you now

 

Look at that blue! the sky is glowing

More stars gleaming

over my tiny head at night

My train has brightly

S

l

i

d

off the tracks and off the cliff

flipping through the icy air!

falls, rolls down a grassy hill and

bumps along the dirt and rocks,

 

Then whirring! through the ocean and

past the gleaming treasures, shimmering under water

waves hello (hello!) to the lists of lists I tend to jot

then into black abyss it shot…

 

hello?

 

It seems I’ve lost my train.

the girl

5ish o clock in Spoon in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Lights dimmed, wood tables, rose saucers, light jazz, and leather sofas.

3 friends, 4 pots, no pot.

Warmed by the bittersweet blood orange tea, the scotch whiskey tour from before, and the sun through the hills. Adventuring (the way I want) and soaking in (the way I need). Sitting in Spoon and writing like Rowling. Taking off my oversized dad sweater, keeping it nearby.

All the while, knowing there was magic written here. Knowing that right now — right now — is how I want to be.

stel

Stel didn’t know what was down there, and she didn’t know if she ever would. She just knew it was magical.

Every night when it would get dark, these shining lights would come out. Small, shining lights that glimmered, that twinkled especially when you stared at them for long enough. Clusters, small and large; some so small they could be a speck on her glasses, some so huge that she was sure there was life down there. There must have been life down there. Or was it just a sprinkling of light?

The others would believe her, probably, if she had told them. But if she told them about the lights she’d have to tell them about sneaking out down to sit on the clouds. Well, not sitting, per se. Whenever she tried to sit on them she slipped and part of the cloud fell through. She had taken to floating on the clouds to avoid that, but sometimes she forgot.

Sometimes she imagined voices in the lights. Sometimes she heard music, rhythms and sounds so smooth she couldn’t help but close her eyes and hum along. At times, she could swear the lights moved, but for the most part they stayed the same… and Stel couldn’t tell what shape they formed. She decided it kind of looked like a cloud. At least it looked like the clouds she had seen.

She probably shouldn’t have encountered that many clouds either. The others didn’t need to know.

She dreamed, sometimes, of going down there. Of dancing with the lights, of meeting their master. Maybe one time she would slip through the cloud and let herself fall.

sitting still

You’re
Struggling against the silk threads, still
Struggling though you wish you’d let it
Be your cocoon, for a little while, just
Let it tie you up and fly you up with dragon kites
And clarify

The strings that you attach to him
They’ve tied you up, it seems, still
Have spun your mind completely, still
You won’t find the answers, child, in these tangles, that
Or the child you were and don’t remember when
You’ll struggle ’til
At once you’re sitting still

And maybe soon you’ll butterfly…
Stay still and let it tie you up.

ADD TITLE LATER (an ode to midterms)

Fffalling tripping drooping letmejust
finish one last sentence that’lljust
make sense cuz I tucked rightintobed
Wednesday right orwasthat Monday night
maybe it was morning but there’sstill
no time like the present soI’llclose
my eyes, I’m fine, one quicksecondand

What Shakespeare meant by his first line I do
Not know if culture’s independent of
My grades which are not slipping as fast as
My hands right off my keyboard staring at
A bright blank Word screen make it less than one
Full page the timer beeps it’s time for break
ing up my lines deadlines long passed I think
It must not matter if the rhythm sleeps

Threee days more ‘till bed
Twoo more hours of sitting
One more question will the haze stop because
Fffalling makesense drooping letmejust
More bed it’s more ssssitting

**be sure to edit before submitting**

a toast

pardon me, honored
wedding guests and the like
if you would take a moment from
your distilled brews
your crafted brows
your beeswax candles
your stage-managed tans
your shining shoes
your sparkling dresses
your neon drinks
and the cold air blasting through our hearts meanwhile
I’d like to break a glass–

here here! to the exile!

writer’s block, take 2

My writer’s block is a block
Wooden and small enough to focus on.
Six sides meant to teach someone somewhere something
Somehow.
So, inspiration?
Frustration.
Damn.
Okay.
Okay. On one side, the red letter A for
An anthem? Answers? A guide? To?
A blue Q on the other side, for
Questions?
“Ask questions and—”
And?
Stare intensely and intensity might spark out
Right? Center on the bold colors on the
Pure and light and simple wood and
Hold it in your hand and
Are you ready?
No?

Of course you’re not.

Come out at 2 a.m., slightly buzzed
On a left-over loose-leaf notebook
Saturday night, bizarre
With one roommate dozing and
One light on

Turn the sharp corner
But it’s—
No
Forget it

Stop thinking. Just
Scribble, jot, don’t stop to dot or cross
Look away from the block

You’re not ready
So go

break

There’s a
Titanium
Rod
Fused to my
Spine
And I’m
Entirely
Unco-
Ordinated
Which begs the
Question
Why do I love to
Dance?
Now,
Please don’t
Misunderst-
And,
I’m not
Good at
It
In fact I’m
Pretty clum-
Sy and awkward
Just to watch
But when I dance
I get to
Let go
For just a few breaths,
Get to feel as if I have my life together in a way that flows
Get to move like I have any idea what I’m doing
Reach towards the sky and down to the ground and then
My back brakes
Knocks
A reminder
You can’t go that
Far
But I’ll tell
You, it’s worth
Those split sec-
Onds
Of my life moving to the beat

fast forward

Rewind back a second and I’m leaving
Mom, papers, pictures, all I’d recorded
For as long as I can play. Rewind back
To when I left what I knew to learn
Because I knew it was about time

Seems before I’ve gotten my suitcase to close
I’ve tripped in transition, desperate to tip
back my head and drift asleep. I keep leaving
Class, can’t space out my schedule
Without spacing out. I may never learn

Soon I see that there’s a world to learn
To keep my eyes open for. Soon I lose track
Of time, and not just because a new friend
Bumped into my clock during one
of our way-too-late-night heart-to-hearts

During break, I fly back
And quickly learn
This may be the first time
I’ve been so close
To the group I’d soon be leaving

The second I get back I’m desperate for more
To reach, to learn all the books at the back
Of the beit midrash, the ones I’d been
Planning to leave and learn before
Time slipped away

I slipped into denial, told myself it was never time
To fast forward. But I had to leave
But it hasn’t left me yet
No self-definition found, but I keep rewinding
And damn, I’ve come close
Still hoping to learn how to pause…

Stay tuned.